Grumpy Man in Bali (Intro)

So what makes me grumpy? To be honest rather of lot of things (remember just because I don’t tell you I am grumpy .. doesn’t mean I am happy).  These things can be big issues such as inbred monkeys that try to deny basic science and then try to change the world around them to suit their inadequacies. (Climate deniers, flat earthers and Trump supporters to name but a few). But they can also be small and trivial things that are just like a hot knitting needle being applied to the back of ones nether regions. (Crappy parking, waiting at home all day for a delivery because they cant be arsed to tell you when it is coming … its the 21st century – you can narrow it down better than 0800-1700 and .. oh yes … the French) 

So what shall I grumble and generally take up your time with today? Well seeing as I am presently typing this rant on the lovely island of Bali (yes, waiting to see if the volcano will make its damn mind up to erupt or not – bloody drama queen), I thought I would discuss with you the issue of holiday makers. What is wrong with that you say? For the most part most holiday makers are generally inoffensive people enjoying two weeks of well earning rest and relaxation from their otherwise tedious, dull and mostly pointless lives (apart from spawning another generation of taxpaying workers – so not all bad eh?).

My issue is with those that travel thousands of miles around the world to see new locations (mostly so they can boast to their mates back home) and then spend the two weeks moaning about how its ‘not like back home’ or ‘you can’t get a decent meal’ or ‘where is Starbucks?’ It seems there is a breed of holiday maker, not just limited to Brits, that seem to think that their ideal holiday would consist of Swindon transferred to the beaches of Bali! Why travel over 15 hrs in an aluminium tube, packed in like cattle with several hundred others at 36,000ft only to hit the ground running in an exotic island paradise with the words ‘oh I could kill a Maccie D’s’.  These people should by rights have their passports burnt as to be honest the whole traveling experience is wasted on them.

They say ‘travel broadens the mind’ and that is true … if you bring an open and willing mind with you when you travel. Don’t just change your geographical location but then still think, act and damn well moan as if you are still back home! Only your home is like your home, nowhere else is and that is why you travel..muppets! Stop bleating like the pathetic sheep you are and immerse yourself in your holiday.  Eat the local food you will still be able to be a as what is the point of being in Bali and eating pasta ? Visit the local cultural sites, ideally with a guide, and learn about the country you chose to visit, otherwise you might as well have just sat your sorry ass on the sunbed in Slough for two weeks. Basically get the most ‘value’ out of your time away from the mundane. I don’t just mean financial value, but cultural value as well.


These kind of holiday makers are slowly a dying bred (I hope) due to widening exposure to international cuisine and cultures back home. Opening oneself up to seeing, learning and experiencing other cultures doesn’t mean you are diluting your own. It will not stop you stuffing your face with a BK and reading the Daily Mail (mores the pity) but one major advantage is that you will be less likely to piss me off 🙂


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